#2 – Wedding Gift List
In the modern era of cohabiting prior to marriage, traditional gift lists are becoming something of a rarity. Couples tend to have all the pots and pans they need before they decide to get hitched and new gravy boats and coasters are increasingly foregone in favour of contributions towards a honeymoon or simple cash gifts. Many compassionate couples have even begun to refrain from sending a list at all and, instead, altruistically suggest a small contribution towards a favourite charity in place of a gift.
We all know, however, that when a wedding invitation drops onto the front door mat the chances are good we’ll be parting with some cash. Usually guests are only too pleased to dig deep and contribute towards the happy couple’s future in whichever way they’ve requested. But not always. There is one scenario where the rustle of a fat invitation, complete with gift list, through the door is met with no small amount of teeth gnashing.
‘Ms. Blah requests the pleasure of your company at her marriage to Mr. Blah (with providential good fortune, Ms. Blah has found a partner with the same surname as her own), at St. Mary’s Church at Midday on the 1st June and afterwards, from 7.30pm, at Much-Money Manor for an evening celebration.’
The subtext to this type of invitation reads as follows:
‘We’d love you to come to the church to fill out the pews. It’s a really big Church and we don’t want the congregation looking too sparse in the photographs. Much as we like you, you don’t quite make the cut to be included for our reception at a cost to us of £eye-watering-per-head and we’re confident you won’t mind finding some way to occupy yourself for 6 hours, (there’s a Waitrose down the road and it has a smashing café), whilst we drink Champagne and eat Chateaubriand with our other guests. We’d love you to come along in the evening though and we’re more than happy to buy you a pork batch. By the way, we’re hoping you’ll be too polite to ignore the gift list enclosed and our preference would be the Egyptian cotton bedsheets, a snip at £120.00. Really hope you can make it!’
To avoid any resentment it’s wisest to send a gift list only to the people you’re inviting to your wedding AND reception. Guests you invite only to the evening reception, will invariably bring a gift anyway but it’s bad form to expect one from someone who isn’t a close enough friend or family member to be included in the main wedding reception.